Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out
of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach
Greenville, South Carolina.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,
"When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all
directions begin with, "From the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.
And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."
Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right
and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there so don't
ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you
want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.
The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are
about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a
lunch.
The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm.
Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m.
Saturday.
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all
traffic rules.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and
it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week.
Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk , bread, bottled
water, toilet paper, and beer.
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta , which has a posted speed limit
of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run
over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Don't believe the directional markers on highways:
I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South.
The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and
the "Outer Loop."
If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the
interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless
your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a
full clip.
When a storm knocks out the power to a traffic light it is every man for himself, with all lanes of traffic assuming that they'd have the green light if it were working.
Strangely, when traffic lights have been temporarily changed to a flashing yellow on one side (caution), and flashing red on the other (stop), it is the only time that an intersection is EVER treated as a 4-Way stop.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a
couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have
about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and
covered with Kudzu, and never heard from again.
It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals (even breakfast) and you start
drinking it when you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
"Momma-nem" means: "How is your Mother and all of the other children and
other members of the family doing?"
If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from
Atlanta, and those who just wish they were.


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I'm responsible for the E46 M3, and the E39 M5. For the most part the E60 M5 was off limits, but the teachers snuck me in for a small driving session and lesson. But if anyone screws anything up on the M3 or E39 M5, I'm responsible for the final fixes.
