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Thread: Atlanta.

  1. #1
    USPSA M/Pro burningsquirrels's Avatar
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    Atlanta.

    Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out
    of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach
    Greenville, South Carolina.

    All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,
    "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all
    directions begin with, "From the Big Chicken."

    Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
    with:

    Peachtree Circle
    Peachtree Place
    Peachtree Lane
    Peachtree Road
    Peachtree Parkway
    Peachtree Run
    Peachtree Terrace
    Peachtree Avenue
    Peachtree Commons
    Peachtree Battle
    Peachtree Corners
    New Peachtree
    Old Peachtree
    West Peachtree
    Peachtree-Dunwoody
    Peachtree-Chamblee
    Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

    Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask
    anyone for directions, they will always send you down Peachtree.

    And yes, they have a street named simply, "Boulevard."

    Only a native can pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the
    Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right
    and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is " pawntz duh LEE-awn."

    Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. Coke's all they drink there so don't
    ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. Even if you
    want something other than a Coca-Cola, it's still called Coke.

    The gates at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport are
    about 32 miles away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a

    lunch.

    The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.
    The 5 p.m. rush hour is from 3:00 p.m. to 7:30 pm.
    Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2 a.m.
    Saturday.

    The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all
    traffic rules.

    If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and
    it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week.
    Overnight, all grocery stores will be sold out of milk , bread, bottled
    water, toilet paper, and beer.

    I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta , which has a posted speed limit
    of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run

    over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

    Don't believe the directional markers on highways:
    I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going North or South.
    The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and
    the "Outer Loop."
    If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

    Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the
    interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

    The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless
    your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a
    full clip.

    When a storm knocks out the power to a traffic light it is every man for himself, with all lanes of traffic assuming that they'd have the green light if it were working.

    Strangely, when traffic lights have been temporarily changed to a flashing yellow on one side (caution), and flashing red on the other (stop), it is the only time that an intersection is EVER treated as a 4-Way stop.

    Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia .

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a
    couple no one has seen before.

    If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
    If you notice a vine trying to wrap itself around your leg, you have
    about 20 seconds to escape, before you are completely captured and
    covered with Kudzu, and never heard from again.

    It's not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.
    "Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

    Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals (even breakfast) and you start
    drinking it when you're 2 years old.

    "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

    "Momma-nem" means: "How is your Mother and all of the other children and
    other members of the family doing?"

    If you understand these jokes, forward them to your friends from
    Atlanta, and those who just wish they were.

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  3. #2
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    Good thing I got a bit of a heads up before I head on down there...

  4. #3
    G20 Member realityisterror's Avatar
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    Yay

    I've noticed only OTP fools call it Pawntz de LEEawn. Anyone who regularly uses the road refers to it as simply "Pawntz". I'm not sure if it's just easier that way, or it gives a certain satisfaction...

    I love the South.

  5. #4
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    and how come YOU haven't posted in the ATL meet thread yet??

  6. #5
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    atl meet? when?

  7. #6
    G20 Member realityisterror's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KwikyMAN View Post
    and how come YOU haven't posted in the ATL meet thread yet??
    I'm 17... so I figure I'm yet a little young to be going out and hanging out at bars and poker nights

  8. #7
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    ah to be young again...

  9. #8
    USPSA M/Pro burningsquirrels's Avatar
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    wait ronny, did you graduate already? or just no classes on friday?

  10. #9
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    i get to be excused from class for a day if i bring back a business card. it's as good as me being there, so i can still get my perfect attendance

    and it's only motorsports class i'm missing friday. i already know those cars pretty well.

  11. #10
    T3h Sexy Beast trbobrk's Avatar
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    only motorsports...sheech! those are the only cars that matter.

  12. #11
    USPSA M/Pro burningsquirrels's Avatar
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    awesome.

    i still don't know what we're doing this weekend lol...

  13. #12
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trbobrk View Post
    only motorsports...sheech! those are the only cars that matter.
    Yeah, that's why I started learning about them as soon as the program started I'm responsible for the E46 M3, and the E39 M5. For the most part the E60 M5 was off limits, but the teachers snuck me in for a small driving session and lesson. But if anyone screws anything up on the M3 or E39 M5, I'm responsible for the final fixes.

    Quote Originally Posted by burningsquirrels View Post
    awesome.

    i still don't know what we're doing this weekend lol...
    I'd be down with whatever you suggested before. With the bbq or something. I actually really don't care. It'd just be good to see you all.

  14. #13
    Im a organ donor.
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    A town shit is all true and funny as hell.good post. lol jeet.

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    i guess thats why we got some crazy drivers in greenville, they are lost looking for atlanta

  16. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by burningsquirrels View Post
    Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out
    of downtown Atlanta is to turnaround and start over when you reach
    Greenville, South Carolina.

    All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase,
    "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, where all
    directions begin with, "From the Big Chicken."

    Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused
    with:

    Peachtree Circle
    Peachtree Place
    Peachtree Lane
    Peachtree Road
    Peachtree Parkway
    Peachtree Run
    Peachtree Terrace
    Peachtree Avenue
    Peachtree Commons
    Peachtree Battle
    Peachtree Corners
    New Peachtree
    Old Peachtree
    West Peachtree
    Peachtree-Dunwoody
    Peachtree-Chamblee
    Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
    this is so true, i was in ATL not to long ago, and everyone was like, "go down peachtree and make a right at that waffle place, you'll see it after about five minutes of drivin"

    we got so confused. lol. yeah we visited the "world of coke" also. lol it was pretty cool.

    ps. there really is only coke there, my dad asked for a pepsi and got a coke.

  17. #16
    USPSA M/Pro burningsquirrels's Avatar
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    there's pepsi here... but if you ask for it or people see you drinking it, they'll be all like, "what are you doing!?"

    the ones that don't, aren't from atlanta.

  18. #17
    G20 Member demonR6's Avatar
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    Holy WTF bring the thread back from the dead.

    Another thing I have noticed driving through Atl is the phantom traffic jams that occur with no apparent accident or back up of any sort. I have come to the conclusion that three or four idiots driving the speed limit and crossing over lanes are causing the other 2,500 motorists trying to get to Peachtree to slow down to unheard of speeds thus resulting in this 'ghost jam.' I mean, really though these people are driving 95+ while texting in one hand and trying to roll a fat one in the other.. making them slow down is a recipe for disaster.

  19. #18
    USPSA M/Pro burningsquirrels's Avatar
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    it'd be nice (but they won't) if they made a traffic system like washington d.c. - on i-95, there's 4 lanes in, 4 lanes out, and 3 lanes in the middle that are divided out. in the morning, those lanes go in. mid day, they close for a few hours. then in the afternoon/evening, they reopen to head out of town.

  20. #19
    North Star Fighter KwikyMAN's Avatar
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    they should make a separate truck route for all highways. and then they should restrict 2 or 3 lanes to "minimum 65 mph".

  21. #20
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    or just close the roads and make yall ride the marta

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